Deviation Actions
Literature Text
Dedicated to all the characters on tv that aren’t real. That are just beyond your reach. The ones that embody everything you’ve ever dreamed of. The ones you want to be real so badly it hurts.
I stare intently at the screen, watching his every move. Every word, every turn of the head and color of the skin I know by heart. I’ve seen him a hundred times awake. A thousand times asleep. His voice, echoing in my mind long after its over. Long after everything’s said and done.
He is only ink, imagination, voiced over by an actor in a recording booth.
He’s everything I’ve ever wanted.
He’s not real.
He never will be.
I’ll never be with him.
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Tears fill my eyes, loneliness my heart as I watch him fade away slowly. He’ll be back tomorrow. Same Time.
Same Place.
Why can’t I be with him?
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I press my hands against the cold glass screen wishing it were real. Wishing I was there. Wishing he were with me. Wishing I could if only for a moment, be with him in his world. I love him so, its wrong I know, but he’s my everything. Everything I’ve ever desired.
Why isn’t he real?
Why can’t I find him?
My fists slam against the hardwood floor. Splinters, pain, I don’t feel a thing. I’m numb all over. The blood leaks from my skin and stains my sleeves. I notice nothing. All I see is him. I see him everyday. So close I can almost feel him.
Can he feel me?
Can he know how much I love him?
How desperately I want to be with him?
Will the veil between the worlds ever part and fade so thin that I may cross into his path?
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Tears flow freely down my face now. Starting to feel the pain in my hands. It is nothing. Nothing compared to the aching in my heart.
Seeing him.
Knowing.
That we can never be.
That I never had a chance.
Not a chance.
Loneliness consuming me, wrapping me in a cocoon of darkness. I want his arms around me. I’ve known him for so long. I wish he could know me. I’d be so good to him. I’ve loved him for so long. I want him to know. I want him to know I’ll be there for him always.</P>
I know I will.
There’s never a day in my life without him.
I want him there.
Here.
Now.
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The cold glass screen separates us for eternity. He’s destined to be alone. Never knowing me. Never seeing how much I care. Not knowing how much I want him to be real.
Reality
Fantasy
Melting together, bringing us together finally.
He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a man.
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How can I keep staring at him every day? Knowing in my heart that my love is all for not. Knowing that he will never be mine.
I am already his.
Love wasted on what can never be.
Reality crashing all around me.
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I press my lips against the screen, trying to feel your warmth, imagining what it would be like
With you.
Loving you.
Being together.
I’d never let you go.
But you’re not real.
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You’ll never be more than in my mind and on the cold glass screen.
We’re together in my dreams
But that will never be enough
You come alive in my drawings and in my mind
But I’ll never feel you
Touch you
Never kiss you
And you’ll never know how much I love you.
</I>Written in honor of Mako Tsunami from Yu-Gi-Oh. He is everything I’ve ever dreamed of in a man and he will never exist except on screen and in my dreams. This poem isn’t entirely true, I didn’t slam my hands on the floor and bleed or kiss the screen or anything. But the feelings behind it are real. I want him to be alive so badly. Maybe there is someone out there like him. I hope to meet him. But for now, all I can do is watch and wait.
To a lesser extent this poem is also for Clay Bailey from Xiaolin Showdown and all the other guys on my list on my f.f.net profile. But Mako will always hold a special place in my heart.
P.S. disclaimer I do not own any of the characters or shows I mentioned.
Hope you liked the poem, its from my heart.
Icarian Angel Wings.
